Tuesday, 18 August 2015

Battleground




I have been thinking about the blog for a while now, feeling like it's been so long since I posted that I just don't know where to start!

It has occurred to me that in the midst of all that we have going on in our lives, there will never be a perfect time to write my next blog post so I should just get on with it...

Those of you that were regular readers last year will know that things went a bit quiet really from December 2014. I love writing on Constant Heart and I'm working on making time to get back to it!

The last year particularly is the hardest we've known in our marriage - not because we are any less in love, but because we have been bombarded from every direction possible with testing times. I'll hold my hands up and say I've had more than one day when I've woken up and just not known how I'm going to make it through the next hour, let alone the day.

We have had a few years of financial hardship, the last year being the worst. We've nearly lost our car, Mr Strong's job was in danger at more than one point, we had to move house unexpectedly, and family life has been demanding and exhausting. I've felt completely lost, like I have been completely drowning pretty much every minute of every day... I know how that must sound, but it's true.

We've done what we can and kept putting one foot in front of the other, and we are hoping we are near the end of a life changing and life shaping journey.

Erin is about to start big school leaving Lara in Nursery all by herself, and Caleb, well, he's nearly two and is eating me out of house and home! (I hear that's just boys?!)

Every day waking up thinking "It can't possibly get worse", or "Surely, things must start to improve soon... right!?" and then finding that something else is thrown at us is physically, emotionally and spiritually draining. But God doesn't stop in the midst of all these things.

We've navigated this last year in the complete dark, trusting that God has it all in hand. Being faced with impossible situations and seeing God completely transform them. As we have been refined and shaped, we have come to feel at our weakest, but found so much more of God.

I won't go into the details, and I might not in the future, but know that whatever you have going on right now... and no matter how impossible things seem... we can whole heartedly say that our God is a God of miracles, even in today's times.

We have learnt about praying for things, and I mean REALLY praying. I never understood how anyone could have the gift of praying in intercession - those in the church who cry out to God for those who are in need, who battle in prayer for the things we cannot see day in and day out, but boy did we learn how to do that!

Don't get me wrong, I pray regularly, I talk to God whilst I am doing regular daily things, out loud, in my head, and in my heart. But so many times in the last year particularly, I have been on my knees crying out, weeping in despair that I cannot go on any longer - and I have carried on regardless because I've had no other choice until God's perfect timing. It has been gruelling. But God has been FAITHFUL.

We're not in the clear, God is reshaping every aspect of our lives to come in line with what he has planned for us, and whilst we have been thrown things to knock us off His perfect course, He has come alongside us, with all the supplies we've needed to persevere and get off the rocky ground!

Family life is crazy right now, but hopefully you'll see me back and blogging soon!

Love Jenn


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